 | the_grim_zipper |
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Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:42:40 pm
Every few months I change the message on my voicemail. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's a personal shout-out to one of the people who call me most often... it's never standard, obviously. Cuz I'm a snowflake and stuff.
I just changed it to a droll voice saying "Hey, you've reached my answering machine. Lucky you, you're a real champ. Go ahead and leave me a message, and I'll get back to you pretty much when I feel like it." This was lacking inspiration, but I don't feel like trying harder.
Once upon a time I had the perfect message on there. It was so funny that I had several instances where people who got the wrong number felt the need to comment on it. I do not remember what that message was, I just know that it hasn't really ever come close to being that good since then.
Today I cleaned. I also procrastinated. And that was my day.
Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:50:57 pm
Mine once upon a time used to be a pisstake of a "famous" sex ad where a dominatrix sang her phone number and then said "Ruf!" (whiplash) "Mich!" (whiplash) "An!" (whiplash) (meaning, "call me"). I obviously changed "call me" to "leave a message", but had to find a way to get the whiplash sounds right, so I found out that slapping a plastic bag with the end of a toothbrush worked quite well. I didn't have it very long because it was only funny for about a day, and certain members of my family were mortally offended...
Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:51:27 pm
(I was young, ok?)
Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:55:15 pm
Once upon a time, my voicemail recording was:
"Hello? ... ... ... Oh, hi! How's it going? ... ... ... Cool, cool. Look, I'm not able to answer the phone right now. ... ... Yeah, you're talking to a machine. Don't you feel stupid? Tee hee."
Now, it's the standard automated one that just tells you my name.
Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:57:59 pm
re: comment#4
Once upon a time, my voicemail recording was:
"Hello? ... ... ... Oh, hi! How's it going? ... ... ... Cool, cool. Look, I'm not able to answer the phone right now. ... ... Yeah, you're talking to a machine. Don't you feel stupid? Tee hee."
Now, it's the standard automated one that just tells you my name.
Ooooh, I remember those messages. I hated them :P"Hello? ... ... ... Oh, hi! How's it going? ... ... ... Cool, cool. Look, I'm not able to answer the phone right now. ... ... Yeah, you're talking to a machine. Don't you feel stupid? Tee hee."
Now, it's the standard automated one that just tells you my name.
Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:58:18 pm
re: comment#4
Once upon a time, my voicemail recording was:
"Hello? ... ... ... Oh, hi! How's it going? ... ... ... Cool, cool. Look, I'm not able to answer the phone right now. ... ... Yeah, you're talking to a machine. Don't you feel stupid? Tee hee."
Now, it's the standard automated one that just tells you my name.
I did that once, except I actually greeted the person who calls me most often. He did not find it funny. "Hello? ... ... ... Oh, hi! How's it going? ... ... ... Cool, cool. Look, I'm not able to answer the phone right now. ... ... Yeah, you're talking to a machine. Don't you feel stupid? Tee hee."
Now, it's the standard automated one that just tells you my name.
Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:59:34 pm
re: comment#3
I should go wash some dishes.
:(
Get your husband to do it. Explain to him that you'd simply be giving validity to too many stereotypes if you were to do the dishes as both a Mexican and a woman, and that you feel like it's safer if he does it. :(
Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:04:04 am
re: comment#1
Mine once upon a time used to be a pisstake of a "famous" sex ad where a dominatrix sang her phone number and then said "Ruf!" (whiplash) "Mich!" (whiplash) "An!" (whiplash) (meaning, "call me"). I obviously changed "call me" to "leave a message", but had to find a way to get the whiplash sounds right, so I found out that slapping a plastic bag with the end of a toothbrush worked quite well. I didn't have it very long because it was only funny for about a day, and certain members of my family were mortally offended...
Very nice.
I have offended people with my messages before, but only one was intentionally offensive. Back at my old job at the immigration lawfirm, my boss had the annoying habit of giving clients my personal cel number. After repeatedly asking him to stop doing it, I left a message that went something like "Hey, you've reached my answering machine. I can't answer right now because I've been detained by homeland security, but I'll get back to you when... if they let me go."
I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea. I shut my phone off before going to bed, and when I turned it back on there were about fifteen messages for me from my boss and various underlings whose clients had been thrown into a panic.
He never gave my number out to anyone else, is the point.
Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:04:45 am
re: comment#5
Ooooh, I remember those messages. I hated them :P
A friend of mine swears up and down that he invented those messages.
He also thinks he invented the saying "All that and a bag of chips".
no image
10) deleted, Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:06:43 am
re: comment#9
A friend of mine swears up and down that he invented those messages.
He also thinks he invented the saying "All that and a bag of chips".
LOLHe also thinks he invented the saying "All that and a bag of chips".
Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:12:04 am
re: comment#9
A friend of mine swears up and down that he invented those messages.
He also thinks he invented the saying "All that and a bag of chips".
I've never heard the saying. But I remember these messages from about 15 years ago, so depends how old your friend is... ;)He also thinks he invented the saying "All that and a bag of chips".
Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:12:57 am
re: comment#8
Very nice.
I have offended people with my messages before, but only one was intentionally offensive. Back at my old job at the immigration lawfirm, my boss had the annoying habit of giving clients my personal cel number. After repeatedly asking him to stop doing it, I left a message that went something like "Hey, you've reached my answering machine. I can't answer right now because I've been detained by homeland security, but I'll get back to you when... if they let me go."
I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea. I shut my phone off before going to bed, and when I turned it back on there were about fifteen messages for me from my boss and various underlings whose clients had been thrown into a panic.
He never gave my number out to anyone else, is the point.
The plus side of singing your phone number in a sex hotline voice is, you still remember it almost a decade after moving out ;)I have offended people with my messages before, but only one was intentionally offensive. Back at my old job at the immigration lawfirm, my boss had the annoying habit of giving clients my personal cel number. After repeatedly asking him to stop doing it, I left a message that went something like "Hey, you've reached my answering machine. I can't answer right now because I've been detained by homeland security, but I'll get back to you when... if they let me go."
I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea. I shut my phone off before going to bed, and when I turned it back on there were about fifteen messages for me from my boss and various underlings whose clients had been thrown into a panic.
He never gave my number out to anyone else, is the point.
Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:13:48 am
re: comment#11
I've never heard the saying. But I remember these messages from about 15 years ago, so depends how old your friend is... ;)
He's 24.
Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:30:19 am
re: comment#7
Get your husband to do it. Explain to him that you'd simply be giving validity to too many stereotypes if you were to do the dishes as both a Mexican and a woman, and that you feel like it's safer if he does it.
I could, but I only have one clean bowl left. He would probably wash them by the weekend. I also need to buy some dishwasher, I forgot to get some last time lemon girl and I went shopping. My life is hard.Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:35:42 am
re: comment#14
I could, but I only have one clean bowl left. He would probably wash them by the weekend. I also need to buy some dishwasher, I forgot to get some last time lemon girl and I went shopping. My life is hard.
Yay! You are having white people problems!
WELCOME TO AMERICA
Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:42:04 am
I used to do that before I started having people call me for potential job offers. And before I had that weird phone stalker. Now I just have the standard telephone number that comes with the phone.
Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:47:09 am
re: comment#15
Yay! You are having white people problems!
WELCOME TO AMERICA
Nobody told me that such problems came with the green card. I feel cheated.WELCOME TO AMERICA
Thu Jan 26, 2012 1:27:02 am
I would like your phone number to call your voicemail, please.
Kthxbai
Thu Jan 26, 2012 1:53:06 am
I only recorded one message for each phone number I ever had.
Thu Jan 26, 2012 2:30:37 am
re: comment#1
Mine once upon a time used to be a pisstake of a "famous" sex ad where a dominatrix sang her phone number and then said "Ruf!" (whiplash) "Mich!" (whiplash) "An!" (whiplash) (meaning, "call me"). I obviously changed "call me" to "leave a message", but had to find a way to get the whiplash sounds right, so I found out that slapping a plastic bag with the end of a toothbrush worked quite well. I didn't have it very long because it was only funny for about a day, and certain members of my family were mortally offended...
♥