Despite the video being taken off You Tube, a local radio station has copied the video here: http://www.theedge.co.nz/dancing-taggers-tabid/106/articleID/8702/default.aspx
this is gonna be a bit all over the place, im writing it down as it comes to my head but would much appreciate your time to read this im not to bothered about comments and stuff but would like some followers so i can show how im gonna sort my life out. first im going to tell you abit about my closet family members. p.s excuse my punctuation and spelling
my dad.... to be honest this man is my hero and love him to peice's. hes been here for me right from when i entered this world. him and my mum split up when i was young, i cant remember when, ive never asked, im not really one for asking questions like that. from then i went to live with my dad and lived with him for a couple of years till my mum found out something which i will explain later. a couple of years ago i moved back with my dad and hes not given up trying to help me now, as im writing this hes not in the same room as me but i can hear him talking to the cat and that puts a smile on my face :) when i moved back in i started i college doing a first diploma in art and design which he payed for and fed me, even tho he was receiving nothing from me in return but a year on i started to feel art was going know where for me so i packed it in and started looking for a job and was struggling because before that i had only worked a couple of days in a chip shop in devon. my dad soon found a job for me building play parks for kids which much enjoyed but fell through because my boss couldnt afford to keep me so i went from there and found myself a job in a hotel loved the job but was really insociable hours and found myself drifting away from freinds and family including my dad because when i wasnt working i was sleeping that also fell throung two christmas' ago and walked out of work on christmas day due to fuck ups with time off and holidays. i soon went on to working for a reqruitment agency doing temp work in factorys just the odd job here and there but wasnt enough seeing as when i left college my dad expected house keep of £30 a month wihich is fair enough. my best mate scott found me a job with his mum which i also enjoyed gardening for a wealthy family but again this also fell through so i was back to square one, by this time i had a loan for my new motorbike, insurance, petrol, phone bills ect, so i was loosing what i saved up fast after that my agency started calling less and less and soon didnt ring me all so i had no in come but plenty going out which leads me to my latest job back in a hotel doing an even crapper job with less money and less hours. now im earning barly more than my debts and my dad still insists on helping me out even though he is struggling himself, which is part of the reason he is my hero.
my mum what can i say..... i lived with my mum when she found out the news i promise i will explain when i get to my step mum. life was good with my mum had a house loads of friends on my street etc. and then she met my step dad who i also love to bits because hes such a decent guy but wont do anything unless my mum gives him the thumbs up. it was all good untill my sister came along and i think abit of favoratism started only for my mum tho my step dad would still take me banger racing and everything. we soon moved to devon after that to move closer to my nan and gramp who had been living down there for about 5-6 years. this is where i soon fell out with the women that gave birth to me she stopped feeding me, ignoring me, wouldnt let me do nothing with my friends. i still did after climbing out the window at night a couple of times :). i soon started to get depression and cutting myself which not many people no about and would like to keep it that way. yes i was doing it for attention, not to kill myself nearly did tho once gave myself blood poisening. but i just wanted attention from my mother whats wrong with that. but nothing really worked so i soon felt enough was enough and rang my dad and he was happy to move back with him... soon later she told me over the phone that she and my sister and step dad are moving to new zealand and said im welcome to come which put me in a posision i really didnt want to be in picking between all my family here or well just my sister to watch her grow up.i decided to stay.
now my step mum... childhood with my step mum is something i try to block out and never opened up to anyone about it. something thats kept to myself and only my closest friends. i have a step brother gary from my step mums previous boyfriend and my half brother keiran who is my dads son. again favoratism, my step mum never really accepted me as a step son and thats when the abuse started kicking me, punching me, pinching, smashing my head against doors and splitting it open i can remember this happening 3 times but theres more that 3 scars on my head and ive never split my head open once. so thats when i moved back with my mum, i still dont no to this day wether or not my dad beleives me about it because its a hard subject to talk about as a few years later he married my step mum. i will never fully forgive her, but i have put it behind me and try not to think about it now im back with my dad, to be honest she has been nice to me taking me places like alton towers and things like that and recently the hospital because of hearing problems.
my sister... my angel not much more i can say about her as i dont really know her anymore as its been 3 years since i last saw her when she was 5 shes now 8, alot happens in 3 years when your that young. and i dont blame her at all for what my mums like its not her fault my mums the way she is.
not family but may as well be, my best mate scott. anything i need he will try and be there for me, he does alot for me and hes not the most loved guy as he has fucked alot of people about. but knowone really knows him like i do even our friend matt whos known him for atleast 5 years more than me. we both are in the same posision thinking back what do we have to show for our lives
recently my cousin died in a motorbike accident and his funeral was yesterday, it was a big see off for him never seen so many people in a church and hearing storys of his life made me think what have i got to show for mine apart from a hefty debt, a dead end job, hadly any friends anymore, and family i havent seen in years and it took one death of a relative to relise on what im missing out on, it shouldnt of took that. i also think what happens if i die say tomorrow, i tell you now im not gonna die happy there so much i want to do in life, holidays get closer to friends and family, maybe kids one day get married. but i need to sort my shite life out first! earlier on in the year i made a promise to my nan and gramp that i would see them when ever possible due to my gramp finding out hes got cancer and its to serious to do anything about it and my nan is just giving up on life all together. i plan on sticking to my promise!
RIP mark lost but never forgotten, and thank you for inspiring me to do something with my life.
my dad.... to be honest this man is my hero and love him to peice's. hes been here for me right from when i entered this world. him and my mum split up when i was young, i cant remember when, ive never asked, im not really one for asking questions like that. from then i went to live with my dad and lived with him for a couple of years till my mum found out something which i will explain later. a couple of years ago i moved back with my dad and hes not given up trying to help me now, as im writing this hes not in the same room as me but i can hear him talking to the cat and that puts a smile on my face :) when i moved back in i started i college doing a first diploma in art and design which he payed for and fed me, even tho he was receiving nothing from me in return but a year on i started to feel art was going know where for me so i packed it in and started looking for a job and was struggling because before that i had only worked a couple of days in a chip shop in devon. my dad soon found a job for me building play parks for kids which much enjoyed but fell through because my boss couldnt afford to keep me so i went from there and found myself a job in a hotel loved the job but was really insociable hours and found myself drifting away from freinds and family including my dad because when i wasnt working i was sleeping that also fell throung two christmas' ago and walked out of work on christmas day due to fuck ups with time off and holidays. i soon went on to working for a reqruitment agency doing temp work in factorys just the odd job here and there but wasnt enough seeing as when i left college my dad expected house keep of £30 a month wihich is fair enough. my best mate scott found me a job with his mum which i also enjoyed gardening for a wealthy family but again this also fell through so i was back to square one, by this time i had a loan for my new motorbike, insurance, petrol, phone bills ect, so i was loosing what i saved up fast after that my agency started calling less and less and soon didnt ring me all so i had no in come but plenty going out which leads me to my latest job back in a hotel doing an even crapper job with less money and less hours. now im earning barly more than my debts and my dad still insists on helping me out even though he is struggling himself, which is part of the reason he is my hero.
my mum what can i say..... i lived with my mum when she found out the news i promise i will explain when i get to my step mum. life was good with my mum had a house loads of friends on my street etc. and then she met my step dad who i also love to bits because hes such a decent guy but wont do anything unless my mum gives him the thumbs up. it was all good untill my sister came along and i think abit of favoratism started only for my mum tho my step dad would still take me banger racing and everything. we soon moved to devon after that to move closer to my nan and gramp who had been living down there for about 5-6 years. this is where i soon fell out with the women that gave birth to me she stopped feeding me, ignoring me, wouldnt let me do nothing with my friends. i still did after climbing out the window at night a couple of times :). i soon started to get depression and cutting myself which not many people no about and would like to keep it that way. yes i was doing it for attention, not to kill myself nearly did tho once gave myself blood poisening. but i just wanted attention from my mother whats wrong with that. but nothing really worked so i soon felt enough was enough and rang my dad and he was happy to move back with him... soon later she told me over the phone that she and my sister and step dad are moving to new zealand and said im welcome to come which put me in a posision i really didnt want to be in picking between all my family here or well just my sister to watch her grow up.i decided to stay.
now my step mum... childhood with my step mum is something i try to block out and never opened up to anyone about it. something thats kept to myself and only my closest friends. i have a step brother gary from my step mums previous boyfriend and my half brother keiran who is my dads son. again favoratism, my step mum never really accepted me as a step son and thats when the abuse started kicking me, punching me, pinching, smashing my head against doors and splitting it open i can remember this happening 3 times but theres more that 3 scars on my head and ive never split my head open once. so thats when i moved back with my mum, i still dont no to this day wether or not my dad beleives me about it because its a hard subject to talk about as a few years later he married my step mum. i will never fully forgive her, but i have put it behind me and try not to think about it now im back with my dad, to be honest she has been nice to me taking me places like alton towers and things like that and recently the hospital because of hearing problems.
my sister... my angel not much more i can say about her as i dont really know her anymore as its been 3 years since i last saw her when she was 5 shes now 8, alot happens in 3 years when your that young. and i dont blame her at all for what my mums like its not her fault my mums the way she is.
not family but may as well be, my best mate scott. anything i need he will try and be there for me, he does alot for me and hes not the most loved guy as he has fucked alot of people about. but knowone really knows him like i do even our friend matt whos known him for atleast 5 years more than me. we both are in the same posision thinking back what do we have to show for our lives
recently my cousin died in a motorbike accident and his funeral was yesterday, it was a big see off for him never seen so many people in a church and hearing storys of his life made me think what have i got to show for mine apart from a hefty debt, a dead end job, hadly any friends anymore, and family i havent seen in years and it took one death of a relative to relise on what im missing out on, it shouldnt of took that. i also think what happens if i die say tomorrow, i tell you now im not gonna die happy there so much i want to do in life, holidays get closer to friends and family, maybe kids one day get married. but i need to sort my shite life out first! earlier on in the year i made a promise to my nan and gramp that i would see them when ever possible due to my gramp finding out hes got cancer and its to serious to do anything about it and my nan is just giving up on life all together. i plan on sticking to my promise!
RIP mark lost but never forgotten, and thank you for inspiring me to do something with my life.
Strong hands that once threw hot rivets, collect the trolleys in Morrisons’ car park.
‘Clyde Built’ they proclaimed . Now the yards are not derelict or abandoned, just empty. Port Glasgow left things as they were after ship building died, like a bereaved mother, years after her loss, unwilling to change anything in his room in case he comes home and finds it unfamiliar.
And like mother, Port Glasgow has tidied her hair and put a smear of lipstick on for the neighbours. Realising the world goes on around her, she opened bright supermarkets, renamed schools ‘Something Academy’ and wrote ‘Community Performance Centre’ on conjoined Portakabins in the town hall car park.
Signs for ‘office, canteen and deliveries’ remain. If ship building returns in the night, he will know exactly where to go.
And so ‘doon the watter’ across the Clyde to Bute, foot passengers one abreast on the oversized gang way at Wemyss Bay, that used to carry as many as sixty thousand Glaswegians a day.
Merchant Vessel Argyle says her placard ‘launched sideways in Poland 2003 and named by the wife of the Lord Lieutenant.’
No mausoleum though Bute, no heritage village, no exit through gift shop. Real people these in an unreal beauty; all changing light and mountains that come down to the sea. No regret or apology. Cheese and tomato sandwiches are just that. Coffee not three and a half pounds a cup.
The Struan bar fills up for Scotland versus Liechtenstein and my first self doubt on Bute appears at the bottom of a dirty beer glass. Liechtenstein’s national anthem shares the tune to ‘God save the Queen’ and I am rumbled. The gay English boy pretending to watch Sky Sports at too narrow tables.
‘It’s an environmental thing’ I explain.
‘Reuse and recycle. They ran out of tunes’
Kyle puffs his cheeks and laughs.
Thankyou. Thankyou Kyle for laughing at my lame joke. Thankyou for not staring when I order wine in a pub that doesn’t sell it. Thankyou for not killing me because I’m English.
‘Will you have the football on later?’ I asked the barmaid and she winks a pantomime Glaswegian wink. ‘Do Aah look like Aah like the fitball son? See ma shurt? U of M. University of Minnesota. It’s American football aah like.’
I tell her I’ll see her later and she thinks I mean it. When I come back, she has found a box of wine upstairs.
The next morning a road sign in the countryside points to Calum’s Cabin and I remember Port Glasgow, bereaved mother.
Calum chose the tunes for his own funeral and wanted other children with cancer to go ‘doon the watter’ and know what Bute is.
Near The Struan Bar a little yellow shop sells things that are ‘nearly new’ to pay for Calum’s Cabin.
I don’t want any VHS videos or tea towels so I walk in, brave for me, and tell a woman. ‘I want to give some money. I saw it on Songs of Praise.’
She smiles and calls another woman from the back, busy sorting VHS videos.
‘This gentleman wanted to make a donation.’
She writes £10 in an exercise book and I look at the video-sorting woman. I think it is Calum’s bereaved mother and I don’t know what to say.
‘… I saw it on Songs of Praise.’
‘Clyde Built’ they proclaimed . Now the yards are not derelict or abandoned, just empty. Port Glasgow left things as they were after ship building died, like a bereaved mother, years after her loss, unwilling to change anything in his room in case he comes home and finds it unfamiliar.
And like mother, Port Glasgow has tidied her hair and put a smear of lipstick on for the neighbours. Realising the world goes on around her, she opened bright supermarkets, renamed schools ‘Something Academy’ and wrote ‘Community Performance Centre’ on conjoined Portakabins in the town hall car park.
Signs for ‘office, canteen and deliveries’ remain. If ship building returns in the night, he will know exactly where to go.
And so ‘doon the watter’ across the Clyde to Bute, foot passengers one abreast on the oversized gang way at Wemyss Bay, that used to carry as many as sixty thousand Glaswegians a day.
Merchant Vessel Argyle says her placard ‘launched sideways in Poland 2003 and named by the wife of the Lord Lieutenant.’
No mausoleum though Bute, no heritage village, no exit through gift shop. Real people these in an unreal beauty; all changing light and mountains that come down to the sea. No regret or apology. Cheese and tomato sandwiches are just that. Coffee not three and a half pounds a cup.
The Struan bar fills up for Scotland versus Liechtenstein and my first self doubt on Bute appears at the bottom of a dirty beer glass. Liechtenstein’s national anthem shares the tune to ‘God save the Queen’ and I am rumbled. The gay English boy pretending to watch Sky Sports at too narrow tables.
‘It’s an environmental thing’ I explain.
‘Reuse and recycle. They ran out of tunes’
Kyle puffs his cheeks and laughs.
Thankyou. Thankyou Kyle for laughing at my lame joke. Thankyou for not staring when I order wine in a pub that doesn’t sell it. Thankyou for not killing me because I’m English.
‘Will you have the football on later?’ I asked the barmaid and she winks a pantomime Glaswegian wink. ‘Do Aah look like Aah like the fitball son? See ma shurt? U of M. University of Minnesota. It’s American football aah like.’
I tell her I’ll see her later and she thinks I mean it. When I come back, she has found a box of wine upstairs.
The next morning a road sign in the countryside points to Calum’s Cabin and I remember Port Glasgow, bereaved mother.
Calum chose the tunes for his own funeral and wanted other children with cancer to go ‘doon the watter’ and know what Bute is.
Near The Struan Bar a little yellow shop sells things that are ‘nearly new’ to pay for Calum’s Cabin.
I don’t want any VHS videos or tea towels so I walk in, brave for me, and tell a woman. ‘I want to give some money. I saw it on Songs of Praise.’
She smiles and calls another woman from the back, busy sorting VHS videos.
‘This gentleman wanted to make a donation.’
She writes £10 in an exercise book and I look at the video-sorting woman. I think it is Calum’s bereaved mother and I don’t know what to say.
‘… I saw it on Songs of Praise.’
i've just read a book about salim pax- the bagdad blogger.... he wrote a blog during the invasion/liberation of iraq from saddam hussain... found it quite interesting to see how an ordinary person was affected by the military action back in 2003.... anyway thought i'd have a go myself.... i like to have a good moan about things, so it should suit me fine.... :)
Google wasn't working properly for me yesterday. Every time I tried to modify my search terms, the entire search text that I was editing disappeared, which made it impossible to continue with the edit. I was only able to get Google to work by starting over from the beginning with an empty search page, which was very annoying.
I was not certain of the cause of this problem. I had just reinstalled my operating system. It was possible that I had a buggy version of Firefox or some libraries were missing. I had done a minimal installation of Debian Lenny and I was manually selecting the additional packages that I wanted. I could have missed a critical Firefox dependency, but no other website the I regularly visit was malfunctioning.
Now I know the real reason for the problem. Google introduced Google Instant yesterday and it's defective. It is supposedly a system that shows search results while you type in a manner different from, and supposedly better than, the predictive text that they had already been using. I haven't seen it actually work and don't know if it's any good when it's functional. I disabled it on the Google Preferences page and Google works properly again.
I was not certain of the cause of this problem. I had just reinstalled my operating system. It was possible that I had a buggy version of Firefox or some libraries were missing. I had done a minimal installation of Debian Lenny and I was manually selecting the additional packages that I wanted. I could have missed a critical Firefox dependency, but no other website the I regularly visit was malfunctioning.
Now I know the real reason for the problem. Google introduced Google Instant yesterday and it's defective. It is supposedly a system that shows search results while you type in a manner different from, and supposedly better than, the predictive text that they had already been using. I haven't seen it actually work and don't know if it's any good when it's functional. I disabled it on the Google Preferences page and Google works properly again.
prevnextfirstlast 123456789101112131415161718192021222324