I am eating breakfast with my family right before participating in the New York City marathon. This meal is taking forever, and it's causing me to be very late for the race. When the meal is finally over, I take some probiotic supplements before leaving.

Because it's snowing heavily outside, I decide to use skis instead of running shoes for the marathon. I neglect to consider that this might give me an unfair advantage, but it doesn't matter much, because the winner already crossed the finish line before I left the house. When I am outside, I see that I am not the only one who is doing the race on skis.

After I pass the finish line, there is another race, which is part of this event. It turns out that this is more than just a marathon. Getting to the next event requires skiing up a very smooth inclined plane for a considerable distance. It is very difficult, but I am able to do this. Only 15 others have successfully reached the second stage of the competition.

The second stage takes place on a lake. It's a race in vehicles that look like bobsleds without the sled part. These vehicles are only partially buoyant. The racer's head stays above water, but everything else is below water. The lake is heated by geothermal energy, but the air is extremely cold. It's so cold, that ice forms around the racer's head during the competition. This forms a seal around the top of the vehicle, which can cause death by suffocation. Part of racing strategy involves periodically rolling the vehicle, like a kayak, into the hot water to melt the forming ice. Because this causes a reduction in speed, some racers go too long without rolling and end up encased in ice. Most racers allow this freezing to happen near the end, because someone at the finish line will break open the ice to free them. I see one get severe head trauma when a chisel used to break the ice slips and smashes open his skull. Because I arrived so late, the race ends before I get my chance to compete in the water.

I suddenly realize that I am asleep. Based on the amount of light shining through my eyelids, I conclude that it's almost time to wake up. I try to open my eyes just enough to see the time without really awakening, but I am unable to get a clear look at the time. My eyes are still doing REM. The alarm comes on. It's Apple's new iWakeup alarm clock. I have the rainforest theme installed. I assumed that it only made rain sounds, but I feel wetness on my face which gradually increases. I conclude that there is a leak in the ceiling and lots of rain is falling on my face. This is actually an illusion that the alarm clock produces. Due to sleep paralysis, I am unable to move out of the stream of water, and I cannot open my eyes to see that the water isn't real.

With extreme effort, I finally manage to open my eyes for real. I see that I only have 5 minutes left for sleep and close my eyes again, waiting for the dreaded beginning of Monday.

1) I had a sex dream and can't remember who was in it. She had a familiar giggle.

2) I was passing by Fairway Market and saw a huge crowd gathered around. I thought that Obama was making a surprise appearance. I know that he was nearby today. I realized what was really happening when I saw the badges that everyone had. They were all participating in the World Retail Study Tour.

3) I saw a cardboard bottle of liquid laundry detergent. Bags of milk finally have some competition. I seriously considered buying it solely for examination.



4) I forgot what I was going to write. It's Monday.

1) The director of the geriatrics program vanished a couple of months ago. Initially, I thought she went on vacation without telling me. Her departure is apparently permanent. I was recently asked by the interim director if I had the phone numbers of my students. I don't, and the former director is the only one who had a comprehensive list. I was told that she was unreachable and that her files were inaccessible. That seemed odd and I thought maybe something bad happened to her, but she seems to have suddenly reappeared to send out a mass email informing all the relevant parties about her permanent departure.

2) For the past few months, I have been considering leaving my teaching job at the hospital. It doesn't pay well and forces me to get up extra early. I mostly kept it for so many years because the prestige of teaching at such a large hospital helps me to easily get good paying gigs elsewhere, often without even applying for the position. The departure of the director somehow added to my desire to leave, but I'm not sure exactly why.

Just as I was getting serious about leaving, two students suddenly reappeared who had not taken my class in over a year, and a new one joined who travels 2 hours in each direction just to take my class. I think that I will stay for at least another three months.

3) A very attractive woman walked past my room while I was teaching. We made eye contact and she smiled at me. I was unable to get a good look at the name on her ID, and I didn't see her again after class.

There is a bulletin board in the hall with photos of all the new medical students who are working in the geriatrics department. These photos always had names under them until today. I'm not sure if this is a permanent change or not. Now I can't Facebook stalk her.

I have seen this best day in gym class photo reposted several times and many people seem to like it. I have tried asking about it and none of the responses seem to help me understand it any better. Apparently, some gym classes involve fake parachutes but I have no idea why, and I don't know why it would be enjoyable to sit under it.