1- I am in the library and someone is being very loud and obnoxious. Said 'someone' is the new librarian. She's all ghetto-fabulous and loud. Now what?

2- If you have never enjoyed the goodness of a lox and egg omelet, you have not ever truly had breakfast. Just sayin.

3- I saw Regina Spektor in NJ last night. I think she is one of the few artists I could never tire of seeing live. It's just always a great show.



4- I am debating whether or not I want to see the new Morgan Spurlock documentary about Comic Con. This would ordinarily be a no-brainer for me, but one of the subjects of the documentary is a guy I am very familiar with and from the sound of the previews is presented in a much more favorable light than I would have portrayed him. Chuck Rozanski is presented like some kind of aw-shucks martyr to the geek cause, trying to keep his business afloat by selling one valuable comic from his private collection. He is the owner of one of the largest comic retail organizations in the world, and has been the king of mail order since the 1970s. He spends his life traveling around the convention circuit and flying around in search of collections to buy. Yeah, I'm sure he puts a lot of his profit back in to his business and I'm sure that business isn't as good for him now as it was before the economy collapsed, but the fact is, he runs a major operation with multiple retail locations and a huge online market, and has no business passing himself off as some humble shop-owner out to save his store with the sale of a single comic.

Then again, maybe I should withhold judgment til I see it. The previews could be misleading. But really, where's the fun in that?

This will be TL, DR, and all about G.I. Joe.

I just got through re-reading the entire 155 issue run of Marvel's 1980s-90s G.I. Joe series and the thing I noticed throughout the series is that while Larry Hama had a very fine grasp of military protocol and the technical side of warfare down pat, the stories moved along clumsily, betrayals were rampant and often illogical, characters would not maintain the same personalities from one issue to the next and most importantly the dialogue was very much like the 80's cartoon. The Joe series was much more suited to a child's reading tastes. It was all catchphrases and exclamations. For a group of soldiers and ninjas, the Joes talked too much and were way corny. The reader was almost never allowed to infer anything from the action. Everything would be explained in long rambles. Despite that, the storylines were still decent and it was still a fun read until about issue 120 or so, where it felt like the series shifted to nothing more than a vessel for introducing new characters that could be found soon at a toy store near you. And that isn't to say that I wasn't one of the kids pining for those toys. Aside from comics, GI Joe toys were all I wanted as a kid. From ages 6 to about 12 or 13, those toys were my universe. As an only child with overprotective parents I spent countless hours building storyline in my room, with my desk serving as Cobra Island, a nook near my bed serving as the Joe base and various boxes and closets serving as strongholds and weapons lockers. I even used those Joe toys to play other heroes. Throwing a cape on Flint made him Superman. Duke and Hawk made excellent Hardy Boys. Cesspool kind of looked like Lex Luthor anyway. Outside of the confines of my imagination however, the series had gone stale with disjointed stories and twists that were unbelievable to even the most naïve of readers. Unsurprisingly, the series saw a sharp decline in sales and was cancelled with issue 155.

After a couple of failed attempts by Dark Horse to revive interest in the series by almost completely changing all the players, G.I. Joe finally found a home at Image under their Devil's Due imprint. The new series combined the classic characters that were so popular in the 80's with more believable and cohesive dialogue and storylines. The writers picked up the pieces that had been left shattered by Marvel and revitalized the Joe universe with a touch of realism. The series picked up seven years after the Marvel version came to a close and for the most part did not ignore the continuity of that series as some companies do when acquiring new franchises, choosing instead to build on the framework of the established canon. The early issues focused on the relationships of soldiers who had been parted for nearly a decade, as well as the lives of those who had retired from military service. The evolution was handled very well, reintroducing all the fan favorites and featuring a small number of new faces, just enough to be interesting and not so many as to fall into the trap of overexposure that killed the series in the 90's. Devil's Due held the licensing rights to GI Joe for just under seven years, during which they produced some of the best Joe stories I had ever read, and during which I became enamored with the characters all over again.

After Devil's Due's licenses expired, the franchise moved to IDW. IDW is a fairly new comic book company, but they hold licenses to some of the bigger 'outsider' franchises you can think of, including Transformers, Ghostbusters, Terminator, Star Trek and Dr. Who, as well as a number of others that come and go for them. They held the license to Angel (of Buffy fame) for a while, and some of their earlier work on the character was downright excellent. The company itself is a mixed bag for me. On the upside, their in-house artists are really good, their writers are decent if unspectacular, and when they employ outside writers they usually make the right choices. The downside is, they use a very thick cardstock and most all of their comics have a four dollar price tag. I don't mind that part very much because I never pay cover for comics anyway, but carrying a pile of 40-50 of their comics home from a convention is roughly the weight equivalent of carrying a packed short box of 100 comics. My main issue with them though is overexposure. They milk the franchises that they acquire for every drop, counting on the heavy built-in fan support of each franchise to sell an endless lineup of series and miniseries. That sort of handling eventually waters down the storytelling. This is what they are currently doing with G.I. Joe.

The first thing IDW did when acquiring the license for GI Joe was to disavow the entire Devil's Due continuity. IDW wanted to pick up from where Marvel left off. It made business sense, I suppose. Devil's Due had radically altered the Joe universe during their run, and progress is something major comic book companies (or companies that want to be major players), frown upon. I wasn't very happy about it. IDW also promised a grittier series, one where anybody could die. This might have seemed like a plus for a war comic, but the truth is, comic book readers don't always appreciate pointless death. One of the things I appreciated about Devil's Due was that while they weren't above permanently killing off characters like Marvel seemed to be, they also didn't feel the need to have someone interesting or important to the story die in every single issue. Some of the stories being produced now are good, but they aren't anything new or innovative. IDW has already rebooted the Joe universe twice since taking over about four years ago, and their current lineup features three monthly titles as well as a regular slew of miniseries. This seems to be their business model. Make what you can, then lose the license. It's kind of wearying. I'll keep reading, mostly because G.I. Joe is a lifelong love, and unlike Superman or Spider Man, they haven't quite fucked G.I. Joe up enough to get me to quit.
I am also excited about the G.I. Joe movie, coming soon to a theater near me. I expect it to be a piece of crap and I'm sure that it will suck as hard as the first movie, but I DON'T CARE. BECAUSE I SAW THE PROMO, AND THERE ARE RED NINJAS IN IT. SNAKE EYES VS. RED NINJAS Y'ALL!!!!!

SNAKE EYES. VERSUS RED NINJAS.

That is all.

Ok not really. But my softball league did accept a challenge from a local precinct's softball team today and the team we sent over wiped the floor with them.

In other sports related news that none of you will care about, I am on the verge of making my fantasy basketball championship game. Unless something goes terribly wrong over the next two days, of course. I have a long streak of finishing in 3rd place going, and I'm a little more excited about bucking that trend that I probably should be.

Tonight is the first night of passover. I did not attend a seder. I will attend one tomorrow night, but only because the second seder night has always been a birthday celebration of sorts for me. Since I come from an orthodox family, I used to get two birthdays every year. I only celebrate my english calendar b-day, but my parents still insist on celebrating the hebrew calendar day too. I was born during the second seder. I was reflecting earlier on how much I used to enjoy the rituals of passover. A 'good' seder takes about 4-5 hours and leaves you with the sort of satisfied exhaustion one might experience after a wedding. I decided to spare the internets a tl,dr about it. Nowadays I mostly just enjoy the handmade matzo.

The next couple of weeks should see my busyness continue. I have about seven friends with birthdays over the next 14 days. I like celebrating other people's birthdays and then taking it easy on my own.

I will be seeing Regina Spektor next week. Kind of excited about that.

Step one : Play basketball with a bunch of orthodox jewish guys who do not know that you speak yiddish too.

Step two : Listen to what they are saying.

Step three: react to what they are saying.

Have dinner with parents and friends of parents
Wait for tomorrow

So.

I was thinking.

There should be comic strips starring Ninja t-girl. It can be kind of like the ambiguously Gay Duo from SNL. You never actually see the penis, but it is referenced often and everyone suspects.

MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Gripping introduction

Shocking statement

Additional details that support statement

Self centered rambling related to statement

Additional shocking statement that is even more shocking than the first statement

Dramatic cliffhanger type statement ending in ellipsis

Hilarious reveal of misdirect

Exclamation of today's date

Exhibition of joy over the day's significance